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John Peel OBE, 1939 - 2004
The Juke-Joint Blues Biographies
Brendan Cronin
An appropriate last name for this Irish folk singer. The first guitarist the Rolling Stones ever sacked. Brendan has borrowed Buddy Holly’s glasses in a vain attempt to conceal his real identity as a school teacher. His other hobby is running, and he often jogs around the Golden Lion while Rex is playing.
Alan D (Also known as Young Al)
The pale, illegitimate son of Muddy Waters and Billie Holiday. In a class of his own with a vast repertoire of songs. Alan won’t ever be seen using a Cappo – “they’re for wimps!” He hangs around a lot at the Wagon & Horses and John O’Gaunt, hoping for a talent scout to spot him.
Rex
From the Deep South, a secret polygamist. Hell Hound Rex can play the guitar a bit, preferring obscure keys so that Victoria can’t join in. He is frequently barred from pubs in Heysham for singing. Vampires be warned, Rex dines on raw garlic cloves, designed to fend off his wives’ advances.
Max
The one-man audience. Just don’t ask him about blues unless you have got a lot of time on your hands. Only the very brave play anything that isn’t blues when Max is around.
Celia
Max’s gal. Only in it for the wine, Celia can often be found loitering in the Spaghetti House when she is supposed to be at the Dukes.
Miguel
Is he a have or a have not? What does the baseball cap conceal? (Answers on a postcard please). Miguel owns a large selection of harmonicas so can play in any key without really trying. A rather worrying style, he has swallowed several harmonicas over the past few months.
Robin (The Boy Wonder)
A tour guide who got lost when out on the fells. He thinks he plays at the Brewery Art Centre in Kendal every Sunday and no one has the heart to tell him he’s actually at the Dukes in Lancaster. His favourite songs include “She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain” and “Ging-Gang Gooley Gooley Whatsit”, played equally proficiently on guitar or harmonica.
Judy
A blues diva. Judy has failed several auditions to join the Tone Deafs, and has now joined a choir to try to improve her technique. Having an illicit affair with an Irish folk singer.
Barrie
Born an orphan with a clarinet in his mouth. Plays very, very long solos, very loudly. Barrie is close friends with the entire female population of Lancashire, and is particularly keen on the under 25’s. He is trying to teach Victoria to improvise – or so he says - but who knows what really goes on when they’re alone?
Adrian
Accompanies all players in all songs whether they like it or not. The amazing beer monster who never buys a round because he is always “too busy”. When playing electric bass, the volume is directly proportionate to the amount of beer consumed – after 4 pints you can’t hear anyone apart from Adrian.
Victoria
Often found dressed in skimpy clothing to distract from the fact that she can’t really play. Likes the Saxophone because someone once told her it looked sexy. She will only attempt to join in when the song is in the key of C. Tried using a Cappo on her clarinet, but it got tangled up with her watch. Also a key member of the Tone Deafs.
Alan W
Plays a selection of household implements, beware when you put out your dustbin, you may find Alan out late at night practicing on the lid. Dislikes being called Old Al (he's just a 'seasoned' youngster). Runs a thriving website development business from his bedroom in Yealand Conyers and is training to be a chef now that he has learnt how to switch the oven on.
Christine
Founder of the Tone Deafs, an innovative group of backing singers. She shakes a number of instruments, specialising in the Ocarina. A very keen academic, attends all of Max’s university courses. Christine also runs a successful dating agency (hence Rex’s wives, and Judy’s love affair).
Courtland
Often found hanging round
foreign graveyards, Courtland plays acoustic guitar with colander attached.
Justin
Also known as Pete, only plays very late at night. Justin is very skilled at pulling both pints and girls – an enviable combination of skills.
Norrie
An occasional visitor to the team. Adored by the girls, envied and despised by the other guitarists for his bluesy voice. By day, Norrie models string vests for the Freemans catalogue.
Special Guests:
The Blues Dukes welcomes
everyone who joins them on a Sunday afternoon, whatever they play (and even if
they don’t). There is always a lively crowd and amongst those who have joined
us in the past are:
Groupie Girl fancies anything
in trousers and once threw her exceptionally large pants at the performers,
covering the entire stage area;
Jo – builder by day, buxom
by night;
Matt with golden hair to die
for;
Will Newman,
a sexy Sting look-a-like;
Di Thomas
with his unfeasibly large collection of guitars
Take a look at all the bands in Lancaster at www.bandsinlancaster.co.uk
Text Copyright © 2001-2005
Victoria Morris. All rights reserved.
Website © Copyright 2000-2007 Alan
White. All Rights Reserved.